We spend a good amount of time in our lives worrying about mundane issues. I mean, people say things like “I’m having a bad hair day” because at that moment, it just seems… relevant to like, care about your hair that much. Some people even claim to be grateful and aware of how lucky or blessed they are, specially in their instagram bios – but I don’t really think any of us had been grateful about the little things in a while. I mean the extremely little things …. like stepping outside your house without thinking that could kill you… or hugging someone.
When the pandemic hit us, Brian got stuck in the UK with Ricky´s husband, so Ricky came to stay with us. In a sense, it was like having continuous slumber parties with your best friend. We would re-watch our favorite TV shows, and cook, and remember what life was like when things seemed complicated but were actually… not. I guess, it was like taking a break from real life… because that is precisely what it was.
I feel like the pandemic also created this sense of urgency in all of us. To like… tell people how you feel about them, show your true colors, and question every choice you ever made.
Jordan Catalano is not good with his words. But, at the same time, he is. There’s a sense of excessive truth to the short sentences he says. Like, they always mean more. Even after all these years, that quality of him hasn’t changed. Not much has, really, when it comes to us.
Since we couldn’t meet at all, we’ve been talking on the phone…. calling each other, like the 90’s teens we still are inside. And for as much as he sometimes can’t find the words, we connect in a way Brian and I don’t anymore.
Brian still calls; he asks about the kids; he is always short and to the point. Our conversations have become practical and repetitive with a touch of anger and disappointment in every word we say to one another… even if we are not fighting.
I am lucky to have Ricky here with me, in the middle of the most intense experience everyone who was alive during the pandemic will ever go through, possibly. Ricky is the kind of friend who will always be there for you, no matter how wrong he might think you are. I couldn’t have wished for a better company, as the world falls apart behind these walls.
Angela Chase's diary 